last wish anecdotes

clifford the big red ...

When we were filming the "erection-under-the-sheets" scene, we couldn't very well have our actor, Kevin Louis White, use his real, ahem, equipment for the shot.  Such a proposition would have assumed a great deal - too much, in fact - from his natural proportions and the longevity of his stamina.   

So our Prop Master, Justin Torvinen, whipped up a large, red phallus with a flat base that easily fit between Kevin's legs.   

Before that particular scene needed to be shot, everyone on the crew had a merry old time miming sword fights and making jokes of varying degrees of blue.  Somewhere it picked up the name Clifford - as in The Big Red Dog.  Only this wasn't a dog; although it was big and red... 

I soon took to using it like Washington, pointing his troops forward, saber in hand.  "Camera one to a close-up!"  I would yell, pointing Clifford and smiling like a victorious general. 

A comedic film should be fun to shoot, that's what I say. 

The white witch…

The first night we were filming, we broke for lunch and a few of us went outside to bring in some new equipment.  In the middle of the street, we saw that the car of a young Latina woman had broken down and wouldn’t start despite multiple attempts. 

"Are you mechanics?"  She asked with all sincerity, English not being her first language. 

"I'm afraid not," I said. "We're filming a movie … this is a filming studio." 

"Oh..." she said in a sad voice. 

We got the crew together to push the car to the side of the road and told her where we'd be if she needed further assistance.  She said she would call a tow truck and thanked us for our help. 

Literally five minutes later I walked back outside to grab an extra copy of the script I had brought in my car, and I found her gone. 

I don't know of any tow service that responds that quickly, especially in Hollywood. 

Some of the more superstitious among us (none more than myself) began to believe that she was some type of white witch, testing our charity close to the beginning of our endeavor, ready to bestow either good or bad luck on us depending on our reaction. 

Of all the film sets I have been on, the shooting of this project was the smoothest, without incident of any kind. We like to think that the "white witch" contributed to our positive experience.